A 667 fic for Charlie. I know you originally wanted an ASoUE one, but I ended up writing this instead. I hope that's okay.
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It was the 22rd of December, when Charlie heard the door bell ring. Expecting carollers, he grabbed the plate piled high with mince pies, which Lemona had made earlier that day. Charlie opened the door and beamed out into the night. Snow swirled emptily in the cold December night. There were no carollers.
Thinking it must’ve been simply been some kids playing a prank, Charlie scowled to himself and turned to go back inside. That was when he heard a tiny, yet audible cry from below him. He looked down and noticed a bundle of blankets on the door step. Wrapped in the blankets was a baby, and wrapped beside the baby was a note written in messy handwriting:
”Free to a good home.”. Thinking he had no choice, Charlie sighed and took the baby inside.
“Aw, what a cute little baby!” Sophie gushed. She snatched the baby off of Charlie and showed it to Tragedy.
“
” said Tragedy. Unfortunately the baby saw and started to cry, loudly, so Anka took it off to a bedroom where the baby fell asleep.
The next day, Hermes went to the library and took out a some books about taking care of babies. The 667ers glanced at these momentarily before abandoned them and deciding to raise it on their own: 667 style.
Bryan tried feeding the baby a multitude of foods, but the baby wouldn’t eat solid foods. “What a picky magee,” Bee grumbled, so Kensicle liquidised some food and gave it to the baby.
Shelly wrote a song fic about the baby, and read it to the baby. The baby laughed.
Then Lady Grantham taught the baby all about art, and politics and cultured stuff, and the baby fell asleep. Sixteen gave it a sheep plushie and put it to bed, whilst the other 667ers debated what to name the child.
“K-Pop?” suggested Lucas.
“Headphones?” Willis suggested.
“Lemony,” proposed Sherry-Ann.
“Do we even know it’s gender?” Lemona said, asking the only sensible question.
On the 23rd of December the 667ers had a party to celebrate Sherry-Ann’s 667versairy, with a lot of music, dancing and Snicket stuff. BSam invited the baby, and Pen taught it about popular music culture whilst the baby looked bored. Terry Craig started teaching it all the swear words it would need to know, but luckily Linda had the sense to take the baby off of him.
Later on, Songbird told the baby off for triple posting and Tryina celebrated it’s 667th post. MisterM tried to molest it, but Sophie saved the baby from certain doom.
The baby liked most of the 667ers, apart from Tragedy, and it burst into tears whenever it saw him. “So do I, little baby,” said BSam, sympathetically.
Everything was going well, until the next day, when the 667ers were decorating the Christmas tree. The only thing missing was the angel on top, and all the 667ers wondered what to do.
Then BSam had the idea put the baby on top instead, so Anka made it an angel costume, and then Bryan placed it on top of the tree. The baby sat there looking down at the entire message board for a moment before falling off.
Shortly after, Child Protection came and took the child away, and life went back to (relative) normality.