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Post by Rellim on Nov 2, 2008 11:51:53 GMT -5
Post the next chapter, please.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2008 12:47:03 GMT -5
Round 2 - Match 4
Kate and Ann approached Caligari Carnival on a tandem bike, ready for their big match. They met Trish and Mr. Who there. The Plastics took out their burn book and wrote mean things about the other team because they were mean girls. Meanwhile, on the other side of the Carnival, the dysfunctional Incapacitateds were doing their best not to beat each other up before the match this time. Dear Dairy had knit them all sweaters, so they were all happy thus far.
“Today’s match will take place on a platform over the lion pit in Caligari Carnival” said Daniel Handler. “If you are knocked out or fall into the lion pit, you are disqualified.” Mr. Who walked over to the lion pit, then fell in. “Lemony Snicket was unable to be here because he is still waiting in line at the polls to vote, so I will be the sole referee.” The Incapacitateds and the three remaining Plastics were hoisted up on the small platform. It was especially hard to get Leslie and her wheelchair up there. After they got to their respective corners, Daniel Handler shouted “The match will begin on the count of three. One, two, THREE”
The Incapacitateds had yet to fight against another team, so they were unsure their game plan. Zaid decided that since he was the only male, he would get things started. He walked over to Trish and started punching her. Unfortunately he was incredibly weak so Trish only laughed at the slight tickling his punches gave her. Then she hoisted him over her head, and tossed him into the pit. She brushed off her hands at her job well done. Gigi and Dear Dairy were in the corner while all of this was happening, having a teachers meeting. Then they put their plan into action. Gigi got on Dear Dairy’s shoulders, and they charged at Kate and Ann. Unfortunately since they were old ladies and Dear Dairy could barely support Gigi’s weight, they slowly lumbered towards Kate and Ann, who easily moved out of the way ages before the broads reached them. Dear Dairy tried to stop running before going off the edge, but instead just tripped and accidently tossed Gigi off. Dear Dairy hit the platform ground and broke her hip. “Not again” she cried.
The three Plastics cornered Triangle Eyes, who had a defeated look in her eye. Ann and Kate lifted her up out of the chair, and Trish tossed it over the edge. All seemed hopeless for the Incapacitateds. Kate and Ann brought Leslie over to the edge, about to throw her off as she flailed her arms around. “Shut up you douchebag cripple” taunted Ann. Triangle Eyes, in a fit of rage, kicked Ann ,in the face, causing her to fall off the edge. Kate dropped Leslie to the ground, and took a step back. Kate and Trish stared at Triangle Eyes in shock. “Holy tango, she’s not really a paraplegic” shouted Trish. Leslie shakingly rose to her feet, having not used them in some time. “That’s right, I’ve been faking this whole time, you dicks. Then she did a roundhouse kick, knocking both Kate and Trish off the edge and into the lion pit.
The crowd was shocked by this turn of events. “Leslie isn’t a cripple” yelled Kyle. “My whole world is turned upside down. What’s next, Dear Dairy isn’t really old.” “Well actually,” Said Dear Dairy, as she removed her mask, revealing a beautiful 25 year old with perfect hips. “Holy tango, I’m older than you” shrieked Emma Squalor.
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Post by Hermedy on Nov 7, 2008 13:31:59 GMT -5
I was shocked when I read the part about Triangle Eyes not being a cripple. Then I remembered that this is just fiction, and even the most unlikely things can happen.
That was a great match.
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Post by Sixteen on Nov 7, 2008 13:33:23 GMT -5
This was the best match so far. Funny, shocking and entertaining.
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Post by Triangle Eyes on Nov 7, 2008 18:46:26 GMT -5
That was awesome.
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Nov 7, 2008 20:29:34 GMT -5
Win.
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Post by Dear Dairy on Nov 18, 2008 23:03:48 GMT -5
I knew my secret would be revealed sooner or later. "Perfect hips," indeed!
Fabulous episode! Thanks for sharing.
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Post by Charles Vane on Nov 19, 2008 13:09:29 GMT -5
Update.
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Post by Linda Rhaldeen on Nov 19, 2008 17:16:43 GMT -5
Or at least give us the lineups for Round 3. That takes like a minute.
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Post by Charles Vane on Jan 5, 2009 21:37:05 GMT -5
Update, fool.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2009 13:20:36 GMT -5
you didn't even comment on the last one you ungrateful magee
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2009 14:57:25 GMT -5
There is now a table of contents on the first page if you want to quick find any of your favorite old matches. Also, here are the Third Round Matchups, with the matches coming soon. Round 1 - The Team Squad vs The Goblins Round 2 - The Swanabes vs The Incapacitateds
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Post by Hermedy on Jan 6, 2009 15:11:20 GMT -5
I'd just like to say that it was my suggestion.
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Post by Vacuum Pot on Jan 6, 2009 21:56:48 GMT -5
I'd just like to say that I'm mad.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2009 15:20:23 GMT -5
Round 3 - Match 1
The Team Squad was warming up to Charlotte’s work out videos, including Abs Abs Abs. They let Kyle out of his pokeball and gave him one of those little brown balls that Brock feeds pokemon. The Goblins were one of the most ferocious teams in the tournament, with Kobolos being one of the most impressive fighters in the entire tournament. They didn’t need to scout or plan any strategies because the Team Squad is great at improvising and aren’t afraid of anything, except for Kyle being afraid of swans. The Goblins didn’t work out or plan, they just ate flesh and drank absinthe. Both teams were called out of their locker rooms as the fight was about to start.
“Today’s match will take place on Olafland” said Lemony Snicket. “Daniel Handler is busy working to prevent a gamma ray burst that is predicted to happen in a few years, so I will be the sole referee today. The match will begin on the count of three. One, two, THREE”
Willis yelled “Kyle, use sand attack on enemy Alice.” Kyle picked up a bunch of sand and threw it into Alice’s eyes. “Now Kyle, use Body Slam.” Kyle jumped into the air and slammed down on Alice, crushing her. “Kyle, use Wrap” and he gave Alice a huge hug, cutting off her air flow until she fainted. “Good work Kyle, now attack enemy J.” Instead of attacking, Kyle just loafed around. J took this opportunity to hit him over the head with a coconut. Kyle lost all HP and fainted. Charlotte, who was eating apples that she found on the ground, noticed that her secret lover Kyle had been knocked out, which infuriated her. She approached J, took the coconut from her and smashed it into her face with all the force she could muster. J and her caved in head fell to the ground. Charlotte then started eating from the coconut, unaware of Kobolos sneaking up behind her. He picked her up and bit off her head, chewing it a few times and then swallowing it. Then he looked at the camera and said ‘On this island, it’s eat or beat eaten.” The audience groaned.
Meanwhile, Shruti, Pandora and Willis were discussing the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother. Willis said he teared up during the emotional Marshall/Lily scene at the end, but the two emotionless girls said that it was just cute. They forgot about the fight until Shruti mentioned how she didn’t like business majors. Willis was enraged, and went over to the shore where a Marketing book had washed up. He asked Pandora to use her extremely helpful English Major skills to help him read the book. He then used marketing principles to kill Shruti, along with crushing her skull with the textbook.
Pandora and Willis were so busy enjoying their victory that they didn’t notice Kobolos sneaking up behind her. Except they really did notice but they were pretending not to because seriously, they’re members of the Team Squad. We’ve gone over this. Anyways, Kobolos was about to bite off Pandora’s head when she quickly turned around and punched him in the face. He slipped on an apple on the ground and comically rolled all around the island, bumping his head on branches and such. Then he rolled past Willis, who pushed him into the ocean. A shark came up from behind him and ate him. Then the shark looked at the camera and went “On this island, it’s eat or be eaten.” The audience actually laughed this time. Pandora and Willis quickly at something so that they didn’t become eaten. Then they sunbathed and talked about TV.
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