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Post by thedoctororwell on Dec 9, 2005 12:39:30 GMT -5
(I'm french and still in high school so don't worry if my sentences sound weird. Please don't kill me !)
Meanwhile in the SnicketVerse...
OLAF : Ah ! I finally found you, Brattylaires !
THE BAUDS : Please don't kill us ! We're the main characters ! What don't you go murder Paris Hilton instead ? She's rich, and even more stupid than us ! It would have been much more easier for you !
OLAF : Too late, Bodylaires ! Happy end !
(A random guy enters in the room and begins to kick Olaf to death)
SUNNY : Simplelife ("What you're doing is simply beautiful !")
Violet : But... who the heck are you ?
Random Guy : Oh, actually, I'm JS ! I came here in order to save you !
Klaus : How cool ! But what's your real name ? Simple curiosity, you know...
Random guy : I'm JS ! Jackie Shan !
Klaus : You mean... Jackie Chan ? With a C ?
Random guy : Oh, crap...
Klaus : What ? Are you saying us that you don't even know the spelling of your name ?
Random Guy : I don't even know how to read,though.
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Post by Sugary Snicket on Dec 10, 2005 13:27:22 GMT -5
*laughs like Mr. Krabs*
Any Baudelaire: Hey, Count Olaf may be trying to kill us, but at least it's a nice day! *birds twitter, sun shines with huge stupid cartoonish grin*
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Post by thedoctororwell on Dec 10, 2005 15:14:48 GMT -5
Lemony : So, you want yo know why I didn't marry Béatrice ? And why I am so depressed ? Easy ! Béatrice married the Littlest Elf, and now all I can do is writing an horrible story in wich I prentend that she died in gruesome circumstances ! Kill me !
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Post by Skeleton Key on Dec 10, 2005 15:30:27 GMT -5
Grey Lady: Okay, to start off this week's ASoUE ghost ladies club, let's review what we're each looking for. As we know, Carmelita has already found her Pretty Penny doll, so she'll go first with what she is now looking for.
Pink Lady: I'm looking for my favorite pink T-shirt. Your turn, Georgina, you cakesniffer.
Brown Lady: I'm looking for my glass hypnosis pendulum. Your turn, Josephine.
Grey Lady: I'm looking for my Fire Extinguisher. Your turn, Beatrice.
Green Lady: I'm looking for the last safe place.
Grey Lady: We've discussed this, Beatrice. We're looking for items that were important to us in life. Wasn't there a charm, or a key to a-
Green Lady: No.
Grey Lady: *sigh*
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Post by Hanna Squalor on Dec 10, 2005 15:55:51 GMT -5
*Continues your idea*
Pinstriped ghost: I'm sorry I'm late. Anyway I'm looking for the sugar bowl or money or a blue ceral bowl I can't decied.
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Post by Skeleton Key on Dec 10, 2005 16:43:12 GMT -5
Green Lady: I've decided to look for the Sugar Bowl.
Brown Lady: But everyone else is looking for the-
Grey Lady: Shut up! At least she's being normal!
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Post by Sugary Snicket on Dec 11, 2005 12:42:15 GMT -5
LOL. Must continue:
*Green Lady and Pinstriped Lady get into huge brawl over sugar bowl.*
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Post by Skeleton Key on Dec 11, 2005 21:12:02 GMT -5
Green Lady: Gah! That's it! I'm sick of always having to mop up after our tea parties! I'm going off to document the tales of the late Zombielaire orphans!
*all ladies blink*
Brown Lady: Well, I think it's safe to say that that none of us saw THAT coming.
Pinstriped Lady: Well said, Georgina.
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Post by Freshie's Secret Santa on Dec 13, 2005 19:50:58 GMT -5
This may be a bit homophobicala:
Georgina: I love you, Esme!
*make out session*
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Post by Summer Wind on Dec 16, 2005 17:06:04 GMT -5
okay here's one:
Lemony: Wanna know why I'm greiving but not visiting Beatrice's grave? here's why:
(Back then, before the Baudelaires were born)
Beatrice: Lemony!!!!! Guess what? I'm pregnant!!!!!!!
Lemony: Really?!, now we can get married and have that life we were talking about.
Beatrice: Oh sorry, It's Jacques' kid, hey Jacques!!!!!!!!!
Lemony: NOOOOOOOO!!!! FROM NOW ON, TO ME, BEATRICE IS DEAD!!!
(back to the present time)
Lemony: She still sends me postcards and invitations to the kid's birthdays.
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Post by champ103 on Dec 16, 2005 17:46:46 GMT -5
Violet: yo
Klaus: sup
Sunny: lol
Violet: i totally check out my homies down centre base
Sunny: lollerskates
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Post by Alfred is Present on Dec 16, 2005 18:15:52 GMT -5
Me: Merry Christmas!
To celebrate Christmas, I give you VFD Christmas Exchange gift gathering.
*everybody gets strips of name from sugarbowl*
*after one month of preparation...*
All: Esme, you first.
Esme: I got a guy. He invents things flies like mad from crow-covered towns. I don't think he was in, of Course! Guess.
All: Hector! *esme gives gift wrapped in lettuce*
Hector: *thanks Esme shyly*
*very long pause* C-c-c-c-c-car-carm-car...
All: *being bored* Caarrmmelita SSpats.
Carmelita: Hand me that gift, flying cakesniffer! Guess who she is! I'm prettier and lovelier and adorabler and sweeter... Oh-crap. Isadora.
Isadora: I didn't expect that one from Carmelita. This guy is very humble, and a comprehensive researcher. He is an orphan like me...
*sobs* Merry Christmas, Klaus!
All: Awwww!
Klaus: *wipes a tear off his eye* I would like to say sorry to this man who used to work at the library of records. He helped us a lot and blah blah blah blah
All: It is Hal! Hal, stop cowering there as if Klaus's an arsonist!
Hal: I'm Indian! I'm supposed to attend a Curry Party right now, but I'll just give my gift to her. Olivia, here.
Olivia: Why thank you, Hal. My motto is 'give people what they want' so I gave Frank a lio-
Frank: You're not supposed to reveal it, Lulu. Just give me my Gift!
Frank: Quigley, Here's your gift, for being an excellent cartographer, a good friend, a reliable associate, and a convincing liar.
Quigley: I'm not a liar! I'm just a spy for-
All: Sssshh! Be silent! Children should be seen and not heard!
Quigley: so i got-
So on and so forth...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
14th Book. Orphans desperate.
Klaus: Why don't we form an exclusive organization?
Violet: That is a brilliant idea Klaus!
Sunny: The E.I.O.!
Violet: Yes! E.I.O.! Extremely In Orphans!
Klaus: Esme will be our treasurer!
Sunny: Quagmire attention please! (Duncan will be our publicist, and Isadora is the advertising representative!)
Isadora: I can see the Banner now! Orphans are in, volunteers are out; So join our club without a doubt.
Is it funny? I don't think so.
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Post by Jacques the Environmentalist on Dec 16, 2005 18:38:38 GMT -5
Violet: Merry Christmas!
Olaf: How dare you, orphans! You unthoughtful brats don't know if I'm jewish or celebrate Kwanzaa! How unthoughtful of you.
Violet: Sorry. Oh by the way, Merry christmas!
Olaf: *mad*
Kids: *run*
That made no sense but I was talking about that whole thing with my friend yesterday at work.
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Post by Skeleton Key on Dec 16, 2005 19:14:50 GMT -5
Isadora: My hair is...is a disaster! WAAAAAAH!
Well, she SHOULD say that.
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Post by Sugary Snicket on Dec 16, 2005 20:30:06 GMT -5
All ASOUE charicters: *Sing*
We wish you a woeful Christmas,
We wish you a woeful Christmas,
We wish you a woeful Christmas,
And a gloomy new year!
Bad tidings we bring
To you and your kin,
Bad tidings for Christmas
And a gloomy new year.
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