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Post by Charlie on Nov 24, 2013 6:47:59 GMT -5
Is it terrible to be offended if someone calls you gay. Not malevolently, just saying "oh, I thought you were gay". I personally would say that taking offense would be terrible, but nevertheless find myself getting a sinking feeling every time. What are your feelings. This is DD, be ruthless please
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Post by penne on Nov 24, 2013 7:02:57 GMT -5
It's understandable. Because the word "gay" is not just related to homossexuality anymore. It carries a lot of negative meaning including but not limited to shallowness, promiscuity and attention-seeking. Which is horrible. Also the fact it is used as an insult unrelated to one's sexuality can contribute to feeling bad when someone calls you gay.
Being "gay" is generally still viewed negatively by society so if someone thinks you are gay, it could be because they think your behaviour is similar to the behaviour of a stereotypical gay person and that's not a good stereotype.
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Post by BSam on Nov 24, 2013 12:07:02 GMT -5
i think gay is getting away from being used purely as a derogatory term. in civilised society at least. but yeah
what you should do is say 'what makes you think i'm not' then go in for the kiss
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Post by Kit's tits kick ticks on Nov 24, 2013 13:17:46 GMT -5
We have two different words for gay here, one for men and one for women. The one for men is (especially by children who don't even know what it actually means) used as a swear word, and it can be used for everything, male people, female people and things. The word for women is just used to describe a homosexual woman. So if someone says to me I'm "gay (male version)", they probably 1. are stupid because they use it as an insult, and 2. want to insult me, so I feel offended, because they insulted me. If someone says they thought I was "gay (female version)", I'm confused because I wonder what makes them think that, because normally people think that of women who seem kind of masculine.
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Post by bandit on Nov 24, 2013 13:25:24 GMT -5
Yeah, Anka, it's pretty much the exact same in English, with gay and lesbian. Although "gay" isn't a swear word and it's embarrassing that it's sort of becoming one. Like, in third grade I mentioned that my mother is gay (which she is) and I subsequently had to stay in from recess for using inappropriate language. Ridiculous.
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Post by penne on Nov 24, 2013 14:35:59 GMT -5
Great message they're sending there.[/sarcasm] How old were you when that happened?
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Post by bandit on Nov 24, 2013 14:44:43 GMT -5
3rd grade would have been when I was 8.
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Post by Kit's tits kick ticks on Nov 24, 2013 15:26:29 GMT -5
I think most children I know who use the word gay don't even know what it actually means because people say "umm... i will tell you that when you are old enough" and then they think "oh yay, it must be something bad", and then when they use it as an insult people just say "don't say words you don't know" instead of just explaining them what it means.
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Post by Rellim on Nov 24, 2013 22:10:38 GMT -5
I think most of it depends on how you feel like your image would be altered if someone thought you were a different sexuality. People thought my best friend in college and I were a couple frequently, but it was never by people (or at least that i was aware of) who would have thought less of us because of it so I didn't bother me. We'd just be like, "oh no, we're just friends" and life would move on. But I also don't think there's anything wrong with being a lesbian and so I don't see it as offensive that someone would think I was.
I think if I were male it would be harder to not feel the need to be defensive or upset by it because it comes with many more negative connotations than being a lesbian does.
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Post by Charles Vane on Nov 24, 2013 22:15:38 GMT -5
i really dont view it as an insult but i felt really bad because when i was drunk i was talking about stuff and i was like i think this cousin is gay. i think a lot of people are gay or bi because i think sexuality is fluid or whatever and im really whatever about it too but i dont always remeber that other people can be really sensitive to sexaulity stuff.
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Post by Seymour Glass on Nov 24, 2013 23:39:43 GMT -5
I wouldn't be offended, but I would wonder why they called me that.
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Nov 25, 2013 3:31:22 GMT -5
I don't understand how some people can think of someone differently just because of their sexuality, its not like it matters or affects anyone else.
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Post by Charlie on Nov 25, 2013 3:51:19 GMT -5
Yeah, Anka, it's pretty much the exact same in English, with gay and lesbian. Although "gay" isn't a swear word and it's embarrassing that it's sort of becoming one. Like, in third grade I mentioned that my mother is gay (which she is) and I subsequently had to stay in from recess for using inappropriate language. Ridiculous. That's absolutely ridiculous. You probably could have sued or something. But I also don't think there's anything wrong with being a lesbian and so I don't see it as offensive that someone would think I was. I think if I were male it would be harder to not feel the need to be defensive or upset by it because it comes with many more negative connotations than being a lesbian does. I don't think it's offensive per se, just yeah, I guess it does make me feel defensively, or whatever. And not just cause of negative connotations or anything. It feels more like, if someone went up to a Chinese person, and asked if they were Japanese. It's not so much offensive, just more, IDK annoying? what you should do is say 'what makes you think i'm not' then go in for the kiss What makes you think that I don't? *makes out with*
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Post by Charlie on Nov 25, 2013 3:54:17 GMT -5
I think of people differently for everything they do, M. Every new piece of information makes me analyse a person differently. Not necessarily poorly, of course, but if someone comes out to me as gay, or straight, or whatever, I will think of them in a different light.
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Post by Isadora Is a Door on Nov 25, 2013 4:02:15 GMT -5
fair enough, but i don't think anyone's sexuality is important enough to me (althouh it is of coutse important to them) to think differently about them.
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