And so, as the third and final day of our festivities draws to a close, the time has come to reflect on our triumphs and our disappointments. Went the day well? Or was it a disaster? I have no idea; as you would expect with a will, these words were written in advance. I hope you weren’t expecting me to spring out of my coffin like a jack-in-the-box, for none of this is any of my business anymore. But as I possess the will to plot these events months ahead of time, and arrange proceedings to be conducted like clockwork, I possess also the ambition that my final contribution to 667 should be a successful one – devilries, deceptions, and all.
And what harmless devilries they were, in the end! The awards come but once a year, after all, and it would be inconsistent with your interpretation of my character for me not to be a stickler for the rules. For the record, let us raise once the curtain and reveal my:
DECEPTION THE FIRST: The presenter for “Most Notorious” was forbidden from naming the award. It was censored. DECEPTION THE SECOND: 667 Dark Avenue received zero votes for “Most Compassionate” despite its members being so voted. It was contradicted. DECEPTION THE THIRD: The presenter for “Best Writing” was given the results in the form of a puzzle. It had to be deduced. DECEPTION THE FOURTH: One of the nominees for “Best Pairing” is the sockpuppet of another. It was defrauded. DECEPTION THE FIFTH: “Ghastliest Gamer” can never be awarded again. It will disappear. DECEPTION THE SIXTH: I can no longer contribute to my winning “Best Thread”. It has been disowned. DECEPTION THE SEVENTH: The winner of “Best New Member” can never again win that award. That person has been disqualified. DECEPTION THE EIGHTH: The presenter for “Best Profile Decoration” was given the opportunity to alter the result if they succeeded at a game. It has been gambled. DECEPTION THE NINTH: The presenter of the “Linda Rhaldeen Award for Most Valued Poster” refused to use their true identity. That person has been humbled. DECEPTION THE TENTH: The presenter of “Best Organiser” was instructed to present it as “Worst Disorganiser”. It has been inverted. DECEPTION THE ELEVENTH: The winner of the “Dante Award for Best Volunteer” was selected in advance. Their victory was mandated. DECEPTION THE TWELFTH: The presenter of “Most Amusing” was instructed to deliver the result in the form of a joke. It has been parodied. DECEPTION THE THIRTEENTH: The presenter of “Best Artist” was given results which had been modified. They had been vandalised.
You will forgive my little joke. I hope you enjoyed playing one final game with me.
And with that said, I hope you won’t begrudge me one last rambling screed, before the end. Many of you know me, or think you do; and what I should like for you to have incorporated into your construction of my character is that I value the truth. I even tell it, most of the time. But what I rarely told the truth about was myself. Now, after so many years, the time has come to untie my silence knot, and be open.
Many years ago, I was lonely and full of theories. Perhaps some of you can relate. And it so happened that I discovered a place where such people were fostered and encouraged. 667 Dark Avenue! Ah, those were great and golden days, that golden age which lies beyond the ultimate schism dividing past and present forever; their loss is a wound in me, a phantom limb. Such a wealth of people to discuss with, reflect with, contend with, bond with, tell stories with; I met the person I love here, and I will always be grateful. The theories were all wrong, of course, but it was hard not for them to be, grappling with that formless and protean elephant which slipped and changed in our blind hands. It didn’t matter. I was home.
And yet those memories are poisoned by years of unearned hostility, and if you have ever wondered that I appear remote and severe, you should recall that people are what they are made. I learnt early never to regard 667 as a true refuge, though I would have cherished one when labouring under potentially mortal diseases and dark states of mind. In early drafts I reserved harsher words for this place which has wronged me; but it would be unfair to burden you with them, when most of those responsible are now, like myself, no longer with us. Let it only be remembered: I loved being here. I hated being here.
You see, just because you don’t leave home, doesn’t mean home won’t leave you. The world twists on its way, and we twist with it, bent within the spiral of time; a whirlpool drawing inwards and downwards. There is no hope of returning to the world which lies behind us. But there is always a new world to be reached, one that lies beyond hope; a shape the future may take, which change alone can shape us for, whether that change is to grow or shrink, meet or part, step forward into the limelight or bow out into the shadows.
I, too, now take my last bow as Dante Rubens, to immerse myself like the Baudelaires in the Great Unknown from whence I came. But I descend into the underworld knowing I succeeded in that which I set out to do. During my stay at 667 Dark Avenue, I have been at one time or another at the forefront of everything. I rose swiftly to a position of power, and held an even keel. I researched, I theorised, I archived, organised, wrote, drew, conspired, staged, and conversed. Love me, hate me, experience complete indifference to me – I was 667! And it’s for that reason that I am hereby presenting to myself the hidden fourteenth 667 award, the Award for Lifetime Service. Bad luck Hermedy, maybe next year!
And that is all! Thus draws to a close the epilogue, the fourteenth 667 Dark Avenue Awards. I hope everyone’s had fun, and be sure to come back next year for the Sherry Annuals!
Yep. An apology now is far too little too late, but I do regret the way me and my friends treated you. We were young but it's no excuse. You truly made this place worth posting for literally over a decade. You dedication is commendable. I truly wish you the best, and nobody deserves the lifetime achievement award more than you.
Post by El Juanico Diez on Apr 3, 2021 23:43:03 GMT -5
I don't know about the past, and I prefer not to know. I think I got here late, but maybe it was a good thing.
667 Dark Avenue is really cool because of Dante. He was the first person I came into contact with, and in fact, I spent years alone thinking about crazy theories, suffering and writing without anyone who could understand me to the point of arguing with me ... No one even to tell me that I was wrong , or to laugh at my crazy things. Dante welcomed me and gave me the honor of being his rival. Indeed, I sometimes felt that I was talking to someone who was already tired, but who was struggling to keep a flame burning. Because of Dante I manage to write the texts I am most proud of. So much with respect to theories, but mainly my creative works.
Dante is the soul of Dark Avenue 667, at least that's how I've seen him since I came here. Like I said, I don't know what this place was like in the past. But if he's not around ... I don't know what that would be like.
I can refer to him as a rival ... But that is because I am too proud to say that I regard him as my tutor. I may be a rebellious student, but every text and every theory I wrote was waiting for his approval or rejection.
Watching Dante participate in Spyfall was a lot of fun. As well as seeing him participate in other games created by me.
Please ... Stop playing ... And come back to life.
The time has come for the Dante Award for Best Volunteer, named this year after its many-times-winner and organizer of these awards. This award is given to the member who has shown the greatest dedication to the works of Lemony Snicket in the past year.
The nominees were:
counto , whose insightful contributions in Burdensome Books have often invigorated discussions.
gothicarchiesfan , whose insights on the Netflix series, organization of the Re-Watch threads, and general expertise on all things film has transformed Atrocious Adaptations into a tremendous resource.
El Juanico Diez , whose theories inspire both intellectual and emotional responses from 667ers, and whose speculations about the Snicketverse surpass none.
R. , whose character analyses never fail to inspire speculation and debate.
Uncle Algernon , whose consideration of the texts show deep knowledge and careful consideration of the series.
Thank you so much everyone for this, I can't tell you how much it means to me.
And a special thank you to Christmas Chief for her excellent presentation and lovely banner.
Most of all though, I want to thank Dante, one of the first people ever to interact with me on here and someone who supported me and the forum for many long years. I hope you come back one day, even if just to visit, but if you don't, I want you to know that your impact on these pages will never be forgotten.
Ô Mort, vieux capitaine, il est lemps! levons l'ancre!
Thank you so much for this splendid award. I am utterly flabbergasted to have won it - for the first time solo, as Hermedy says - when someone else was so clearly more deserving. I haven't even been that active this year. It is a great honour, which I will try to live up to, in the hope that I can continue in the spirit of the great 667er for whom it was named, a model of compassion, a noted writer and organiser, and our first Class Historian.
Thanks, Roxy, for that beautiful banner. What does it signify? (And can someone tell me how to display it? The 'quote' thing doesn't work when the banner is in a link.)
More later - I am still recovering from the other stuff.