An intriguing interpretation. Would you care to elaborate?
hi i'm back six years later to explain: i was 12 when i wrote this and trying to use big words like "iconoclast" to sound smart. i had a vague idea at best at what i actually meant. ok i've forgiven myself for being pretentious and i hope you, dante, also forgive me.
Hahahaha I already like you and your young self. I totally see the Great Unknown as iconoclast though.
CHAPTER TWO
Hermes seemed ready to answer my question when an eleventh shadow appeared on the thread. It belonged to a girl who looked like Hermione Granger and eagerly answered "Well of course my favourite character is none other than Esmé Squalor, who is yours?"
"And you are...?" I asked, slightly confused, slightly interested.
"I go by Roxy222, but you can call me just Roxy"
She was holding a purse and seemed excited just to be standing there.
"Okay, Just Roxy, what can you tell me about what happened here?"
"Yee, yes I'll tell you all about it, but first I need you to tell me who you think tried to kill Lemony Snicket in "Poison for breakfast"
Jean Lucio looked ready to comment his theories about it, but he was too busy being surpassed by sadness to talk. Meanwhile, Willis tried to cheer him and Limeny up doing a puppet show with Kirby and Yoshi. Limeny laughed and seemed to forget about Dante; Jean Lucio kept crying.
"Well" I said, "I think probably a character that we don't know yet bec... wait the book is not even out yet, why are we talking about that? Also, Dante died!"
"Yeah I know it seems like he died, but did he die really?"
At some point, Bear was so bored that he just left the thread silently. Mister M and Anka kept whispering things to each other and smiling quietly while Archie kept taking notes, now on his left arm since he ran out of space on his hand. Papricot, on the other hand, approached Dante's body and examined his pockets carefully.
"Oh no, no need for that" Hermes said, "I already checked on his jacket. That's where I found these DMs, I was about to finish reading them when Roxy arrived. Most of them are just exchanges with Jean Lucio about his theories. There are also a lot of them from Roxy asking if he is... was? Daniel Handler, and then there's this one to Sherry Ann I didn't get to read yet. Lets see..."
Everyone stared at Hermes, who read outloud:
"Hello Sherry Ann. I want to thank you for helping me with such a difficult task. I have never been more certain about something than I am about this, and I certainly did not know who else I could talk with about it. I trust I will not put you in danger by asking you this, but please understand it is extremely important that you OOOF"
Hermes voice cracked as he fell to the floor. With a surprisingly quick jump Sherry Ann was on top of him, and with another quick movement, she took the bloody DM from his hands.
"Has no one ever told you that it's illegal to read other people's correspondence? I didn't expect something like this from someone like you, Hermes" Sherry Ann shook her head while putting the DM safely in her pocket before anyone could do anything else. I cleared my throat one more time.
"Sherry Ann, when did you become so agile?" I asked, trying to peek inside her pocket, but it was impossible.
"Well, this kind of speed and strength is granted when you become an admin"
"Oh yes, yes" Hermes said, still laying on the floor, "I remember how quickly Tragedy did things back in the day, it was a joy to watch"
"Yes, yes!" Mister M said, talking out loud for the first time "I actually made a thread about this, it included all the statistics of speed, strength, charisma, dexterity, persuasion and of each 667er. Let me see if I find it, I'm sure it's around here somewhere..."
"Excuse me" I said firmly, clearing my throat yet again, "but there's a dead body and a mystery to solve here. Somebody obviously killed one of our most important and beloved memb..."
A not so discreet laughter interrupted me. I looked around but couldn't see anyone laughing.
"Who is laughing?" Anka asked.
"It's certainly not me" Roxy said, "I was just talking with Jean Lucio about the chances of Esmé actually being Lemony Snicket secret lover in "Poison for breakfast", because if you pay attention to the illustration on the cover..."
"We don't have the time for this!" I screamed.
"Look, I'm sorry but I have better things to do than to stare to a dead body" Willis finally said, tired of entertaining people with his plushies. "I'm off. You know where you can find me if you need me."
"Yeah, we're leaving too" Anka said.
"We have a wedding to plan, you know" added Mister M.
"And I'm sorry but I need to keep working" Sherry Ann said. "Being an admin of a forum like this consumes most of my time, I don't have the time to worry about a dead body".
"I think I'll go see a doctor" Hermes complained, "Sherry Ann is quite strong, and I feel my back got hurt when she assaulted me."
"I'm sorry to say I'm leaving too. I'm at work right now and I said I'd go to the bathroom to cry for the death of my mentor, my friend and my master" Jean Lucio murmured softly, and nobody could really understand what he was saying since he was wearing a mask, a face shield and a helmet as the responsible worker he is.
"Well, I'm staying" Roxy said, "I want to try to take the skin of his face off and see if it's a mask and Daniel Handler is underneath it"
Archie stopped taking notes and silently looked at me, waiting for some answers maybe, but before I could say anything Papricot finally spoke:
"I'm sure Dante was killed, and I know why"
And then, I hate to admit, I asked my second wrong question:
"Was it because Esmé wasn't his favorite character?"
