|
Post by Spymaster E on Jan 29, 2007 21:37:18 GMT -5
[Post substantially moderater edited]
Klaus (to Duncan) You're hot. Duncan: Really? Klaus: No.
Klaus: Fiona, I'd like to be with you, but Isadora will slice me up with a chainsaw if I don't love her. And besides, I'm 13 and your 17. You're to old for me. Fiona: (starts up a chainsaw)
Aunt Josephine: Helo, mi nam r josifeene, welcum to mi hom. It r veri nise to meet u, orfins, com inside, I hav a nise meel wateing 4 u, mi nu childrun. Step inside, pleeze. Orphans: (Stare)
|
|
Antenora
Detriment Deleter
Fiendish Philologist
Put down that harpoon gun, in the name of these wonderful birds!
Posts: 15,891
Likes: 113
|
Post by Antenora on Jan 29, 2007 21:42:53 GMT -5
Dante: All right, everybody, there are absolutely no rules in this thread and you can be as vulgar and as dirty as you want in your posts. ( Sorry if you find this offensive, Dante hides) Some of that post is rather off-color, yes, so please watch it with the censored swearing and vulgarity. I'll leave the handing-out of warnings up to Dante, though, since he made the rule originally. Also, just a general note: Let's not turn this thread into a spam fest; the point of it is, I understand, to come up with lines that would be ironically funny if the characters said them, not necessarily just random craziness. I may as well try to contribute, though. Lemony: I'm very sorry about those political comments of mine in previous books. I've become a staunch supporter of our President, who is a very good man with much concern for other people. Lemony, again: Look for my new 13-book series, The Miserable Adventures of the Two Quagmire Triplets in Various Dull and Uncomfortable Areas of Confinement, coming soon to a bookstore near you!!!
|
|
|
Post by Spymaster E on Jan 30, 2007 13:53:01 GMT -5
Sorry, I'll try to keep it cleaner from now on.
Fiona: What do you have, Klaus? Klaus: Mushrooms! Fiona: You geek! You know I'm alleregic and don't you know that pie is much cooler!
Lemony: I noticed I've made antibush comments in my books. I don't care what you think. You're all birdbrains! If you don't agree with me, you suck.
Violet: OMG I am like so hot! (comes put dressed a pink skirt like Paris Hilton) Come on, chocho! Sunny: I am not your mutt, and my name is Sunny!
Lemony: Yo, what up, dawgs! It's me, da lemonadah, and I got a geat story for ya. It is called, ASOUE, brothah, or A Series of Unfortunate Events! Let's begin at da beach! Yo, like the three orphans took a rickety train thingy to da Briny beach one mornin'. It was very cloudy that day, so dey was all alone! Dey was weird children, why would dey want to go to da beach when no one was dere to talk to em. It was also cold during a cloudy day, so dey couldn't go into da watah. Anyways, Violet, the oldest, was a grande hawtie. Not only dat, she didn't do losah things like invent stuff for fun. Why? It is uber nerdy! Violet like to suintan, and weas forced to come here by her siblins. Klaus, the miiddle Buadie, was twelve, and loved watchin TV and working out above all dings. It's not like was some lowlife loser nerd who read about stuff dat nobody was interested in! Sunny, was da baby. She did nothing! One day, deir house burned down, and they embarked on deir journey. De end. And no, I dint write dis for me to entertain ya. I write it for...Mo' money, mo money, mo money.
Olaf: Ugh, my scented shampoos! They all burned in that fire! Violet: but it was fun to light! Olaf: You monster. Fire is a horrible thing!
|
|
|
Post by Skeleton Key on Jan 30, 2007 14:41:30 GMT -5
(Is this too dirty for the thread?)
Ernest: Frank, I had the oppurtunity to destroy your side of the schism. Frank: And why didn't you? Ernest: Because I love you too much! *sob* *Frank and Ernest join in twincestuous embrace*
|
|
|
Post by Spymaster E on Jan 30, 2007 17:07:51 GMT -5
I assume not. I don't make the rules. Ask a moderator. Carmelita: Come on, please let me borrow your money, Esme. I want them to go off to charity. Esme: (kicks Carmelita out of the house)
|
|
|
Post by Tigerclaw can drive a car :B on Jan 30, 2007 21:09:03 GMT -5
Violet: Can i have like ten touthasn dollars for shoes? Olaf: .....
|
|
|
Post by Spymaster E on Feb 3, 2007 12:29:34 GMT -5
Me: I love these "things characters would never say" games! I don't think they're stupid and uncreative and redundant and unfunny at all! Keep your opinions about this thread to yourself. No one likes a fun crusher. Violet: (walks outside a beauty salon looking like Paris Hilton) I'm so hot! (Klaus falls on top of her and crushes her) Sunny: Biting should be made illegal! Klaus: I'm not very good at this Violet, what does C-O-O-K spell. Violet: Cook. Klaus: What is a cook? Violet:....lemony is such a vile liar in his books! Klaus: I should sue him for making me say such comfusing big words. What in the world does "howl" mean? Phil: OMG! OMG! OMG! It's horrible! I like BROKE A NAIL! MY LIFE SUCKS! (commits suicide) Quigley: Yo, Viley, what up, dowggie! (thumbs up) I ben wishin you come for a while, now, fo shizzle! Word to your motha! Violet: .................................................................................. Olaf: I'm a barbie girl...in a barbie world...
|
|
|
Post by Hanna Squalor on Feb 3, 2007 12:58:58 GMT -5
Esme: I think I can get with wearing last years shoes. No one will notice.
|
|
|
Post by Jenny on Feb 3, 2007 17:01:23 GMT -5
Me: I love these "things characters would never say" games! I don't think they're stupid and uncreative and redundant and unfunny at all! Keep your opinions about this thread to yourself. No one likes a fun crusher. I just had to laugh at the way you quoted something from two and a bit years ago that said 'unfunny'
|
|
|
Post by C. on Feb 3, 2007 20:31:40 GMT -5
Olaf: I want to give up my life of crime and help the poor.
|
|
|
Post by Tigerclaw can drive a car :B on Feb 3, 2007 20:45:20 GMT -5
Fernald: I have tooth decay in my butt Fiona: o_0?
Violet: you see billy they reason why you have to go to school is....YOUR PARENTS ARE AILENS AND WHEN YOUR AT SCHOOL THEY SHED THEIR SKINS AND BREATH DRYER LINT! hehheheh.
|
|
|
Post by Spymaster E on Feb 3, 2007 21:32:38 GMT -5
Lemony: Let's begin a wonderful song! L is for Likeable E is for Ebulent M is for Good O is for Octopus N is for Nero-hating and Y is for....Yo-Yo's...I like Yo'yo's, there fun.
Esme: MaNgOeS! MaNgOes! MaNgOeS! Klaus: Esme: It'S iN tO wRiTe LiKe ThIs! MaNgOeS!
Olaf: Violet, you're hidesouly ugly!
Violet: (drunk; to Olaf) You look so much like a moose. I'm going to call you, Mr. Lukelikamoose!
|
|
|
Post by Tigerclaw can drive a car :B on Feb 9, 2007 16:07:02 GMT -5
Klaus: * put's pancake mix in bowl*
*pancake mix blows up*
Klaus(to isadora): You Rigged The Mix With Explosives!?!?!? I swear i'll kill you!!!!
Isadora in a pancake/ballerina costume: THE PANCAKE FAIRY STRIKES AGAIN!!! ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by Jacques the Environmentalist on Feb 14, 2007 22:11:12 GMT -5
Guardians: We've come up with another ill-crafted attempt to keep you safe that took about 5 minutes and certainly won't keep Count Olaf away.
Violet: You've GOT to be kidding me.
Klaus: At least they admitted it this time.
|
|
|
Post by Spymaster E on Feb 16, 2007 14:09:05 GMT -5
Nero: (singing) ...how are you gonna spend, the rest of your life with the light on? Shine the light on all of your friends, when it all amounts to nothing in the end! Mr. Remora and Mrs. Bass: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I wanna worry my life awayyyyyyyy! Nero: I wanna worry my life awayyyyyyyyyy! Advnaced Computer: Yo, that was so dope, that's the dopest thing the world, yo!
Mrs. Bass: Yo, the metric system is so dope, yah? It's the dopest! Yo, you get the thermomentah and...(gets hit by a thrown sock)
Mr. Remora: I have a story for you. To Kill A Mockingbird[/i}. Violet: You don't own that! Mr. Remora: I do, but some %#^&$*^%^$&%$# stole it from me and made it his bestseller!
Violet: (swears uncontrolably) Olaf: Young lady, swearing is very inpolite! And unladylike! I am going to get the soap and wash your mouth out, and we'll do this again and again until you can act like a civilized human being!
Lemony: ...do do do....can't touch this..
Phil: Does anyone know where I can find a great big cliff to jump off of? Becuase life is unbearably depressing.
|
|