Brilliant Bear's Online Oeuvre
Jun 6, 2020 22:00:11 GMT -5
Poe's Coats Host Toast, tk, and 1 more like this
Post by Reba on Jun 6, 2020 22:00:11 GMT -5
over the years i have written a variety of things exclusively for 667, and this is a catalog of all of it, as best as i can tell. as someone who likes to read things he wrote, this is for my own convenience, but i've also added synopses in case any of my adoring fans see this.
Snicket Fanfic"The reason that for men of taste and feeling it is such a painful experience to read, e.g., a sequel or imitation that attempts to reproduce the beauty and the style, etc., of a classical work ... is that they in some way debase our idea of the original works, toward which we felt a deep attachment, and a sort of tenderness. To see them thus imitated, often with little variation and always in a ridiculous manner, nearly makes us doubt the wisdom of our admiration for those great originals, makes it seem almost a delusion, and depicts those gifts which had so inspired our enthusiasm as facile, shallow, and commonplace. This is a bitter thing indeed, to see ourselves brought almost to the brink of rejecting our former idol, to see the object of our love and our esteem and admiration in some way stolen from us, and stripped bare, and humiliated..." - GIACOMO LEOPARDI
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/31884/etiological-episode
- Synopsis: my first writing on 667, a snicket pastiche which never got past the first longwinded chapter. also i didn't know what auspice meant.
- Word count: 1,440 (unfinished)
What Was That Noise?
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/33429/4-noise
- Synopsis: written before the arrival of the last book in ATWQ, this was meant to begin as an unassuming prediction for ?4, which then incorporated more and more "weird" scifi aspects, specifically something to do with a humorous comment Germes made about the Swinster Pharmacy being in another universe. it is notable for having great illustrations by terry craig, which i had hoped would start a trend of artists & writers collaborating on 667, but it didn't.
- Word count: 3,201 (unfinished)
A Series of Angsty Events
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/34924/series-angsty-events
- Synopsis: a humorous reimagining of ASOUE if the adult/teenager characterizations had been more realistic.
- Word count: 734
Lemony Snicket's BIG Trial
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/35251/lemony-snickets-trial-devil-presiding
- Synopsis: a fanfic which no one seems to have read from beginning to end, despite my years of advertising.
- Word count: 5,297
Lemony Snooket's Valentine Surprise
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/35508/new-fic-lemonysnicketsvalentinesurprise-sexual
- Synopsis: an erotic poem for Valentine's Day.
- Word count: uncertain
Lemony's Chimney
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/36680/poetical-muse-revived-bear-consideration
- Synopsis: a small lyric written in order to qualify for the Best Writing award that year.
- Word count: 52
Isadora/Duncan (WSW)
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/37491/isadora-duncan-wsw-2022.
- Synopsis: my contribution to Urban Letter Opener's attempted revival of the Weird Ship Week tradition, which i think may have been the only contribution that week. ouch
- Word count: 330
667Fic
A Game of Dark Avenues
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/32159/game-dark-avenues
- Synopsis: my first 667fic, begun only 3 months after i joined. i don't know how i could have presumed to know the community well enough; it seems my characterizations were based mainly on the nationalities of various 667ers.
- Word count: 2,867 (unfinished)
The Postman Always Rings 667 Times
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/32524/postman-rings-667-times
- Synopsis: i wanted to write a hardboiled travesty, and i gave the characters 667er-names so people would read it. it has very little to do with those 667ers and even less to do with the plot of The Postman Always Rings Twice.
- Word count: 3,477 (unfinished)
The Ghost (WSW)
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/33494/ghost-wsw-lswannabe-pg
- Synopsis: my only entry from the glorydays of "Weird Ship Week", a former tradition in which we wrote stories about "weird ships" i.e. unusual romantic pairings.
- Word count: 197
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/33827/reptoids-667
- Synopsis: humorous interviews with quasi-667ers about lizardmen. might have gone on longer, but teleram found it to be rather trite, and he's the only critic whose opinion i take to heart.
- Word count: 1,183 (unfinished)
The Confessions of Todd: To 667 He is God!
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/34671/confessions-todd-667-god
- Synopsis: a humorous(?) poem about Todd.
- Word count: 321
Five People Look Out the Window
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/34798/people-out-window
- Synopsis: a humorous allegory for a 667 controversy which i've since forgotten.
- Word count: 821 (unfinished)
The Ballad of Semblance the Postie
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/37676/ballad-semblance-postie
- Synopsis: a seasonal ballad chock-full of fond references to the late Semby and his various quirky antics. for some reason it got not a sausage in response, aside from Semblance's now-deleted reply, which (i'll have you know) said "I adore this very much."
- Word count: 373
Miscellaneous
Rodolphus, The Only Bear
Banditverse
- Synopsis: my most frequent writing outlet for a while, which began as humorous children's doggerel, and ended up as serious adolescent doggerel. some time ago i deleted everything but the comic verses, which i probably shouldn't have done, but oh well.
- Word count: 588 (+deleted things)
Bandit Tales
- Synopsis: one juvenile fairy tale.
- Word count: 396
Bear Lore
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/34077/bear-lore
- Synopsis: my first writing as Bear. planned to be a series of bear-themed fairy tales, but there was a brouhaha surrounding my identity; so instead of bear stories, 667 got 5 years of bear himself.
- Word count: 1,515 (deleted)
Colombo's Apes
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/35593/sasquatch-bigfoot
- Synopsis: some sort of literature rant made more exciting by the inclusion of bigfoot.
- Word count: 3,027 (unfinished)
Rodolphus, The Only Bear
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/37873/rodolphus-bear
- Synopsis: a bear-themed fairy tale in the old manner.
- Word count: 661
The 667er
Letter to the Editor- asoue.proboards.com/thread/32096/revived-667er-edition-iv
- Synopsis: my first contribution to The 667er, a very unfunny "shaggy dog" story.
- Word count: 615
A Night at the Theatre
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/32558/revived-667er-edition-vii
asoue.proboards.com/thread/32648/revived-667er-edition-viii
asoue.proboards.com/thread/33579/revived-667er-edition
asoue.proboards.com/thread/34007/revived-667er-edition-6 - Synopsis: a humorous theater-review column which ran for four editions.
- Word count: 1,355
Books Column
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/34953/pepper-668er-retrospective
asoue.proboards.com/thread/35233/revived-667er-66-7th-edition
asoue.proboards.com/thread/35388/revived-667er-ed-29
asoue.proboards.com/thread/35445/revived-667er-ed-30
asoue.proboards.com/thread/35529/bears-667er-edition-bitcoin-coogler
asoue.proboards.com/thread/35651/bears-667er-edition-darkies-disses - Synopsis: a column about books, collectively some of the wisest words ever written on 667; although the lack of props i've gotten for it is understandable, as it was written under the pseudonym "Big Daddy Gomes." also, i did a literature rant for the Rant column, which somewhat presaged my stint as BDG.
- Word count: 3,777
The Joy of the Cinema
- asoue.proboards.com/post/942971/thread
- Synopsis: a column about cinema written under the pseudonym "Little Sonny Jewett", which I would have gladly continued, but that old schmuck Zortegus only revived the 667er for a single issue.
- Word count: 477
The 667er - B.S. Edition
- asoue.proboards.com/thread/37823/rerevived-667er-edition-bears-special
- Synopsis: a fake edition of the 667er written in the spirit of, and for consideration in, the 2023 awards show, with yours truly spoofing various 667ers (as well as my own pseudonymous contributions to the 667er).
- Word count: 1,150
P.S.
Total word count: 33,885+
Total writing awards: ZERO!